Hey,

Readers have been asking me to blog about parenting.  So, here goes:Dad had specific and focused views on how the home was the base of any parenting.  He thought that home needed to be a place of peace, calm and safety for those therein, especially the kids.  To that end, he made two demands of our home.

1. no tears:

On this subject, he would say that he did not want his kids to cry because, being "colored" (We were colored then.) we would have lots of reasons to cry in the wider world.  So that at home he did not want us to have any reason to cry.  He worked really hard to keep us from feeling the need to cry too.  How did he do that?  Well, as he often said, "I smooth the path for my kids" by talking with them and by sharing his ways of avoiding problems.  Dad anticipate problems that we never saw coming.  See the "Sex"chapater in Life Lessons.  He would encourage Mother to join him in this effort.  And, even though she were less enthuastic about this idea than he, she got on the "same page" with Dad out of respect for him and his concept of parenting, which she know the source of and valued him for his having decided to be the kind of thoughtful parent that he demonstrated every day for the three of us. 

2. no ridicule or teasing over mistakes, bad behavior, or failures.  That's next.